Drafts of the Girl #1 - Phantom Behind Closed Doors

 

THE WINTER

Day 1 - Thursday, 01.32 am.

It was an eccentric decision. I decided to write after reading Dostoyevsky's White Nights. 

"I don't know how to be silent when my heart is speaking."

Today, I am writing to introduce the ghost who lives with me. Don't worry, she is not the viscous kind. Also, don't question how I know she is a she. I just know. 

The ghost lives with me and is magically and tragically tied to the house by blood. Something in me tells me she wants to escape this place, but she can’t until they let her go. 

So, instead of trying to free herself and fly far away, she freed herself by crawling down inside herself. Like a dark worm swimming down to the depths of the obsidian ocean, she carved a home beneath the darkness. Surprisingly, she found sunlight that warms her skin and light that gives hope and peace. 

But they come by often, crying and sometimes with anger in their hearts, throwing words of disdain and disappointment. Thankfully, it didn't matter to her; she has grown accustomed to this torment. The claws are not sharp enough to draw blood anymore. 

This was the ghost’s life, filled with light behind the closed doors. Well, she is not alone. She tells me she found new friends but wouldn't tell me about them in detail. I'm curious to know, but I don't want to burden her with my question. That is why I'm writing, hoping to quell some of my curiosity. 

But sometimes, when she is calm or too sad, she narrates how she feels in that light, encapsulated by darkness. 

She tells me, there were no rules, no oppression, no expectations, no resentment, no dreams, and no hopes. It was just a solid, mellow light soothing her skin and the torrents of air playing with her tresses. The water is weirdly afraid of her and runs away from her, but she is confident she can make the water trust her in some time. 

I am all too happy when she shares her chronicles of the world, where she doesn't just exist, but lives.

Now, I am just praying she shares more with me, not just the snippets. 

- Athena