Drafts of the Girl - #7 To the One Who Left

Unsaid Ode to the One Who Left

Day 7: Sunday, 21.04 p.m. 

Today, I found a letter I wrote many winters ago. 

"It hurt. It hurt badly. 

When you said, "Let's end this," my body started trembling before my heart could. I just didn't love you. I made you my entire universe. 

My Happiness, My Sadness, My Comfort, My Wreckage, My Everything. 

When I held your hand and laid my head on your shoulder, those moments of bliss would have been enough for my entire life. 

But now, after a couple thousand days, countless questions, and God awful mistakes, the memory of you resides in the deepest and hidden crevices of my heart. 

I wish erasing your memories was as easy as erasing all your pictures. It's funny how, even after erasing all traces of you from my life, I can recite your phone number in seconds. 

And although I avoid ever crossing places we walked together, when I do, and spot someone who bears any resemblance to you, my heart physically hurts. 

And my breath halts. 

Maybe, If only, I made this much effort to reach out to you, you wouldn't have walked away. Maybe If I held on to you, you wouldn't have walked away. These what ifs still haunts me. 

That's why, after countless winters and men who loved me genuinely, I stand here alone, protecting myself from another season of pain. 

Boy! Always remember there was a girl who loved you truly, wished on dandelions for you, yearned to hear your melody, and wished to share your dreams and see the stars with you. She would have stood against the entire world for you, even if you were in the wrong. 

But now it's time to let this pain, regret, and anger go and believe in love again, although a very small part of me will remember you. Us. 

I too, shall walk ahead, knowing that you have loved me truly. Choose to believe in the hope that a man will love me and choose me against the world, and I too will love him. 

It was a sad yet momentous story."

To the past me who wrote this letter: 

We are at peace now. 

Although we haven't found the one yet, we smile a lot. 

We dream of dancing together under the rain. We love beaches, stargazing, long walks, and gray skies.

And one day, we wish to see snow.